November 10th, 2012


It's Not Easy Being One Of The Beautiful People

Some poor tortured soul has been leaving comments on a bunch of my old LJ entries, originating from several different LJ accounts, to let me know they have a crush on me. Sigh. I know, I know. It's happened so many times before. I've left a shameful trail of broken hearts behind me, so many of them anonymous secret admirers with dozens of LJ handles.

It's so hard for them, they tell me, because they have never done anything like this before. And even worse, it seems they have never been able to tell me for reasons which they claim I would quickly "identify as obvious" if I knew who they were.

Alas, if only I had some inkling of who my untamable animal magnetism has transfixed this time. Actress Jennifer Connelly? Vice Presidential candidate Paul Ryan? That lady I sometimes see on the elliptical machines at the gym?

My admirer goes on to repeat that they're really attracted to me, a redundancy that only proves how dangerous my boyish good looks and rugged charm are to anyone's ability to write in a concise manner, and that they think I would "be wanting to get with"...and then it cuts off! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! There's a link to read the "FULL Card", but I already know what that means, and what waits for me at the other end of that link. It means their dance card is already full, and our love will never truly be. Why click the link to see who they have forsaken our timeless love for? Why torture myself that way?

O, mon amour, the tragedy! The tragic tragedy!