December 19th, 2011

Me

I Bet Matt Damon Killed Him

Kim Jong Il, "Dear Leader" of North Korea, has died at the age of 69.

A state media broadcaster reported that he died due to "overwork [after] dedicating his life to the people."

Yeah, it's totally your fault, North Koreans! He loved you too much, you worked him too hard, and now I'll never be kidnapped to direct one of his movies! How's a guy supposed to break into the pictures business now?

Anyway, his son will probably be just as drunk with the idea of absolute power as he was and nothing will change.