May 12th, 2010


The Fellowship of the Bling

Are you ready for Tyra Banks' fantasy trilogy? You better be, because the first one is hitting bookstore shelves next summer!

No need to go back and look at that paragraph again, you read it right. Fantasy trilogy. Tyra Banks. Seen here marveling over the fact that someone gave her her own TV talk show.

Now it looks like someone's given her a three-book deal too. Delacorte Press, to be precise.

Banks, the host of reality competition "America's Next Top Model" and whose own TV talk show is set to end this year, will write three books, Delacorte Press said.

She has already finished the first, called "Modelland", which is about a teen girl in a make-believe society at an academy for exceptional models called Intoxibellas. It will be published in the summer of 2011.

A fantasy society with an academy just for the special kids? Sounds familiar. Maybe we should just call it Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bulimia, or Harry Potter and the Goblet of Botox.

Also, Intoxibellas. And here I thought nothing could beat George Lucas' "Younglings" for most eye-rolling classification.

Writing on her web site, Banks said the book was "for all the girls and guys who want a lot more FANTASY in their lives … and some fierceness and magic, romance and mystery, crazy and wild adventures, and yeah, some danger too."

Just in case there was any doubt, this statement makes it clear she not only didn't actually write the books, she hasn't read them either.

Publishers Delacorte Press described "Modelland" as showcasing issues ranging from relationships to body image and empowering women of all ages.

Ah, the issues of the beautiful people. Does this $60,000 dress from Milan make me look fat? Which zillionaire playboy will finally settle down and become my emotionally stable, monogamous, incredibly rich husband? There just haven't been enough commercial novels about that. Judith Krantz, Danielle Steel, Jackie Collins, you've all been slacking!

Anyway, Banks' talk show is ending later this year, thereby eliminating her second-biggest platform for selling the book. Luckily for her, America's Next Top Model will probably last a few more years, but unless the 2011 contestants are told to pose with her novel and dress like characters from the story, I don't see a whole lot of crossover happening.

Can't wait to catch her reading at World Fantasy, though.