February 19th, 2010


"Doctor in distress/Let's all answer his S.O.S."

Damn you, io9, for opening the locked vault of bad memories and reminding me about the 1985 charity single "Doctor in Distress"! It may have been a "We Are the World"-type ensemble song whose proceeds went to a cancer research charity, but the song itself was about Doctor Who and its then-recent hiatus, and featured not just current British pop stars but also various cast members from the show with, shall we say, differing degrees of vocal ability.

Good lord, I'm shuddering just thinking about it. Yes, I owned the record. Let me just admit that up front. But it was the mid-1980s, what do you want? I didn't know from good music then! Also, it was Doctor Who-related, and we're talking about a sixteen-year-old me who also owned a 45 of the theme song and a battery-operated toy sonic screwdriver that made wee-ooo-wee-ooo sounds.

But io9 wasn't content to just remind me that "Doctor in Distress" once existed. Oh no, they had to go and post a YouTube video of it so you can really experience just how awful Nicola "Peri" Bryant's singing voice is. Curse you, io9! One commenter, "modernboy," claims Anthony "The Master" Ainley's performance makes the video worth watching, and I have no doubt of it since Ainley was a camp master, but I'll be damned if I can make it that far before hitting the pause button and dipping my entire head in a vat of bleach.

On the other hand, my thanks go out to the commenter "bluehinter," who had the decency to provide a unicorn chaser in the form of the video for the Timelords' "Doctorin' the TARDIS"--which was essentially the KLF remaking Gary Glitter's "Rock and Roll, Part 2" with Dalek sound clips and the lyrics "Doctor Whooooo...Hey! Doctor Who! Doctor Whooooo...Hey! The TARDIS!" That's some genius stuff right there, as is the music video, which seems to be about an unmanned police car fighting a cardboard Dalek impersonator. Oh, late 1980s videos, you're the best! And the cheapest!

Anyway, io9 is dead to me now, but "bluehinter" is my new personal hero.

Two Fun Things

1) dean_italiano reviews Hunt at World's End.

2) ChiZine Publications is running a fun new contest requiring contestants to match the titles of their books to appropriate holidays. The grand prize winner will receive either a free trade paperback or a short story critique by ChiZine Publications' Assistant Editor Helen Marshall, and there are a bunch of other prizes too for contestants. It's a short deadline, though. You only have until February 28th, so act fast! Chasing the Dragon should be relatively easy to find a holiday for, but some of the other titles are trickier. See the full details here. And good luck!