November 21st, 2008


Grow Up, America!

“The main point of the marquee is to cause Christians to understand he's not a Christian. They call and tell me he’s not a Muslim he's a Christian. That's not the point. The point is he's not a Christian.”


Despite the fact that Article VI, Section 3 of the U.S. Constitution clearly states, "no religious test shall ever be required as a qualification to any office or public trust under the United States," people are still going crazy over this rumor, as evidenced by the above. Granted, they're a nutbag minority, but still. It's heartening that residents of Wichita, Kansas, including, presumably, some of Pastor Holick's congregation members at the Spirit One Christian Center, have been calling to correct what the sign says. It's less heartening that Pastor Holick refuses to let the facts get in the way of his partisan bigotry and hatred.

You know who we have to thank for all this, by the way? Our next Secretary of State. The rumors about Obama being a secret Muslim didn't come from the Republicans. They were started by the Clinton campaign during the lead-up to the primaries. The one about Obama attending a radical madrasah during his childhood years in Indonesia? That came from the Clinton camp. So did the picture of Obama in traditional African garb, intended to scare people into thinking he had a dynamite belt hidden beneath his dashiki.

Remember those scenes in just about every mad scientist movie where the scientist has a moment of guilt-wracked clarity and asks, "My God, what have I done?" I'm not expecting any such moment from Secretary Clinton.

Caption Contest Results

What better time to announce the results of the latest caption contest than the opening day of the movie version of Sparklegasm Twilight? Once again, you've all outdone yourselves bringing the funny. Choosing was hard but, like having to decide between a handsome teenage vampire and a handsome teenage werewolf, only one can win, marry you, and father your half-vampire baby.

"Look, I went along with your little vampire RPG, but I am NOT going to pretend to believe in Ents, too!" - angielabrie

"If I just hide up here in this tree she won't see me, no one ever looks up. . . Crap." - horrorofitall

"So... you can climb trees. You're right, that's pretty damn magic. I'm totally taking off my pants now." - julia_sevin

"Guess what I'm standing on? A big pile of dead girls from the Hot Topic appearance." - nihilistic_kid

"Guess where the middle branch is hiding?" - haceldama

Congratulations, angielabrie, on providing the best caption! The prize? Your first kiss from a real live boy! OMG!