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International Bon Vivant and Raconteur

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January 21st, 2008

The 2008 Razzie Nominees [Jan. 21st, 2008|08:12 pm]
International Bon Vivant and Raconteur
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It's my favorite time of year again, that wondrous season when Hollywood is rewarded for its plethora of blockheaded studio execs so stoned they don't know what they're greenlighting ("It's about two straight guys pretending to be gay and Rob Schneider will be in it? Here's a big pile of cash!") and stars who use the dart-throw technique to select their next roles ("I get to play an amnesiac stripper amputee? Let me sign that contract with my coke straw!").

Oh yes, my friends, the time has come again. The Razzie nominations were announced today. If you thought you'd successfully put all of Hollywood's 2007 blunders from your mind, allow the kind folks at the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation to remind you of one important fact.

There's no escape from Hollywood's cynical, down-talking idiocy.

And now the nominees, and from the looks of it this year's race is going to be even closer than Clinton vs. Obama:

Worst Picture
Bratz
Daddy Day Camp
I Know Who Killed Me
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Norbit

(Surprise snubs for 300 and Spider-Man 3, both of which surely deserve worst-picture nominations! -- NK)

Worst Actor
Nicholas Cage (for Ghost Rider, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, and Next)
Jim Carrey (for The Number 23)
Cuba Gooding, Jr. (for Daddy Day Camp and Norbit)
Eddie Murphy as Norbit (for Norbit)
Adam Sandler (for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)

Worst Actress
Jessica Alba (for Awake, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and Good Luck Chuck)
Logan Browning, Janel Parrish, Nathalia Ramos, and Skyler Shaye (for Bratz)
Elisha Cuthbert (for Captivity)
Diane Keaton (for Because I Said So)
Lindsay Lohan as Aubrey (for I Know Who Killed Me)
Lindsay Lohan as Dakota (for I Know Who Killed Me)

Worst Supporting Actor
Orlando Bloom (for Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End)
Kevin James (for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)
Eddie Murphy as Mr. Wong (for Norbit)
Rob Schneider (for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry)
Jon Voight (for Bratz, National Treasure: Book of Secrets, September Dawn, and Transformers)

Worst Supporting Actress
Jessica Biel (for I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry and Next)
Carmen Electra (for Epic Movie)
Eddie Murphy as Rasputia (for Norbit)
Julia Ormond (for I Know Who Killed Me)
Nicolette Sheridan (for Code Name: The Cleaner)

Worst Screen Couple
Jessica Alba & either Hayden Christiansen (in Awake), Dane Cook (in Good Luck Chuck), or Ioan Gruffudd (in Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer)
Any Combination of Two Totally Air-Headed Characters in Bratz
Lindsay Lohan & Lindsay Lohan in I Know Who Killed Me
Eddie Murphy (as Norbit) & either Eddie Murphy (as Mr. Wong) or Eddie Murphy (as Rasputia) in Norbit
Adam Sandler & either Kevin James or Jessica Biel in I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry

Worst Remake or Rip-Off
Are We Done Yet? — Remake/Rip-Off of Mr. Blandings Builds his Dream House
Bratz — “A rip-off if ever there was one!”
Epic Movie — “Of every movie it rips off.”
I Know Who Killed Me — Rip-Off of Hostel, Saw, and The Patty Duke Show
Who’s Your Caddy — Rip-Off of Caddyshack

(Seriously, how could they forget The Heartbreak Kid remake? That one actually put Roger Ebert back in the hospital! -- NK)

Worst Prequel or Sequel
Alien vs. Predator: Requiem
Daddy Day Camp
Evan Almighty
Hannibal Rising
Hostel: Part II

(Again, no Spider-Man 3? That's crazy talk! -- NK)

Worst Director
Dennis Dugan — I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
Roland Joffe — Captivity
Brian Robbins — Norbit
Fred Savage — Daddy Day Camp
Chris Siverston — I Know Who Killed Me

(What, no Uwe Boll? -- NK)

Worst Screenplay
Daddy Day Camp — Geoff Rodkey, David J. Stem, and David N. Weiss
Epic Movie — Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer
I Know Who Killed Me — Jeffrey Hammond
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry — Barry Fanaro, Alexander Payne, and Jim Taylor
Norbit — Eddie Murphy, Charles Murphy, Jay Sherick, and David Ronn

Worst Excuse for a Horror Movie (Exciting new category! -- NK)
Alien vs. Predator: Requiem
Captivity
Hannibal Rising
Hostel: Part II
I Know Who Killed Me

This is a banner year for the Razzies. Eddie Murphy has set an all-time record with 5 nods in a single year, while I Know Who Killed Me topped the field with 9 nominations overall. Poor Jessica Alba. She'll just have to try that much harder to suck in ridiculous films.

The 28th Annual Razzie Awards will be presented on Saturday, February 23rd. Stay tuned to find out who the winners are!

I wonder if Halle Berry will show up again. That would be creepy, since she's not nominated for anything this year. Still, maybe she's hoping for a surprise Perfect Stranger write-in campaign.
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