December 14th, 2007


Trivia King

Tuesday night I went to the monthly Trivia Night at a local bar, hosted by my friends Mary and Pascal. They fashion it after high school, with each round reflecting a different subject: health, art history, spelling, music, history, etc. Sabrina, Mike, Dave, Emily and I came together to form Team Totally Tits (a.k.a. T3: Rise of the Machines), mostly because we wanted to hear them say the name out loud into the microphone after every round, but also because Sabrina talks about tits a lot.

Now, I have friends who win things all the time -- one friend won a trip to Scotland to hang out with the band Belle & Sebastian, others have won Bram Stoker Awards, International Horror Guild Awards, World Fantasy Awards, one even won the Pulitzer Prize -- but me, I never seem to win anything. Not sweepstakes, not lotteries, not raffles; I think I won a couple of bucks from a scratch-off game once, but that's about it.

So imagine my surprise when we actually won Trivia Night! We were rockin' like Dokken, pulling correct answers out of thin air like frogs zapping flies with their tongues. One round was entirely about historical assassinations, and we were remembering Archduke Ferdinand, President McKinley and Sirhan Sirhan like they were relatives. Sabrina, being an Art History Major at Brown, aced the art history round all by herself. Me, being a writer with a preternatural spelling ability (except for typos, of course, like just now, when I had to go back and add a missing R to preternatural), aced the spelling round. I got 18 out of 20 right, missing only gladiolus and eschatology.

We won a $40 bar tab, which basically meant the five of us got free drinks for the rest of the night, but even sweeter was beating the dreaded Steve McQueens, the team that won last month. They reluctantly handed over the trophy -- a porcelain jug of some kind -- and we're supposed to make a team sticker to put on it next to theirs. I left it to Sabrina to design a sticker that adequately reflects our team name.

We will be returning next month to defend our title. Until then, I am happy to be a trivia king, full of strange and arcane knowledge about historical assassinations and how to spell words like catechism, connoisseur and wherewithal.

P.S. And then tonight I baked cookies and ate too many of them. Ohhhhhhhhhhh....