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August 17th, 2007

I Hear He Also Killed Santa Claus [Aug. 17th, 2007|12:09 am]
International Bon Vivant and Raconteur
Poor Michael Vick. The guy just can't catch a break. First he's accused of running an illegal underground dog fighting ring, and now he's accused of being a member of al Qaeda.

Embattled NFL quarterback Michael Vick, facing federal charges related to his alleged participation in dogfighting, has been hit with a "$63,000,000,000 billion dollar" lawsuit filed by a South Carolina inmate who alleges the Atlanta Falcons star stole his pit bulls and sold them on eBay to buy "missiles from Iran," FOX News has learned.

Jonathan Lee Riches filed the handwritten complaint over "theft and abuse of my animals" on July 23 in the U.S. District Court in Richmond, Va.

Riches alleges that Vick stole two white mixed pit bull dogs from his home in Holiday, Fla., and used them for dogfighting operations in Richmond, Va. The complaint goes on to allege that Vick sold the dogs on eBay and “used the proceeds to purchase missiles from the Iran government.”

The complaint also alleges that Vick would need those missiles because he pledged allegiance to Al Qaeda in February of this year.

“Michael Vick has to stop physically hurting my feelings and dashing my hopes,” Riches writes in the complaint.

Riches wants $63 billion dollars “backed by gold and silver “ delivered to the front gates to the Williamsburg Federal Correctional facility in South Carolina. Riches is an inmate at the facility serving out a wire fraud conviction.


Reminds me of the time I sued mssrcrankypants for $75 billion-trillion dollars, backed by Coney Island skeeball prize tickets, because he was reading my mind with his Magic 8 Ball and stealing all my bestselling ideas. I'm still waiting on that deposition, bucko!
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