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International Bon Vivant and Raconteur

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October 10th, 2006

The New York Times, and Butt Pasties [Oct. 10th, 2006|01:32 pm]
International Bon Vivant and Raconteur
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So I finally canceled my subscription to The New York Times on Sunday. I'd been a subscriber for over 15 years, so I felt like I was betraying them in some weird way by canceling -- or "discontinuing," as they like to say over the phone -- the subscription, and I put it off for a long time. In addition to that misplaced sense of loyalty, I was worried I'd miss something important, a news item or a death, but that's doubtful. I watch the evening news most every night and read CNN.com every morning. The truth is I just don't need the newspaper anymore, I certainly don't need to be spending almost $40 a month on it, and the way they piled up over the weekend was grating on my nerves.

Not that I could explain that to the service rep on the phone. When I told him I was calling to cancel, he said, "Oh, I'm sorry to hear it. Any particular reason?" The way I hemmed and hawed would make you think that was the toughest question on the LSATs, and finally I managed to squeeze out the words, "I just am." Followed by nervous laughter. God, I'm a dork. Anyway, I haven't really missed it yet, though it's taking some getting used to not having an enormous recycling pile to bring downstairs.

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Also on Sunday, I went to the Sweet and Nasty Burlesque show at Rififi for my friend Mary's birthday. The show was great, and I've never seen so many tassled pasties in one place at one time. My favorites included the woman who performed a striptease not out of a dress but out of a giant banana skin (who doesn't love bananas?) and the woman who had pasties on her buttcheeks and made the tassles spin around the way the other performers did with the ones on their boobs. That, my friends, is talent.

But what really brought the house down was when the host, Uncle Dave Monster, unveiled his own new routine: running around the stage with a pair of nunchuks while wearing nothing but a leopard-print banana hammock. The audience went berserk. That was some crazy shit.
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