August 1st, 2006


Batman Affects Us All

My old neighbor and customer at the video store, Heath Ledger, has been tapped to play the Joker in Christopher Nolan's new Batman movie (titled, boringly, The Dark Knight). If you find it hard to picture the guy from 10 Things I Hate About You, Ned Kelly and Brokeback Mountain laughing maniacally like Cesar Romero while in white pancake makeup and red lipstick, just think about how Fidel Castro must feel. Castro, a longtime Batfanatic who still thinks the best Batman ever was Jing Abalos in the 1967 Filipino film Batman Fights Dracula, was so distraught at the news that he ceded power and checked himself into a hospital for "intestinal surgery," which is obviously the Cuban equivalent of Lindsay Lohan's "heat exhaustion."

Just In Case You Weren't Feeling Really Old Already

On this day, MTV was launched...twenty-five years ago. Pick your jaw up off the floor, you read that right.

If MTV were a person, she would be out of college already, approximately ten years past being a virgin, had her stomach pumped at least once for alcohol poisoning, had at least two pregnancy scares, probably working in an office somewhere but only until her music/art/writing takes off because no way is she going to be doing this for the rest of her life, even though she will be, and engaged to the guy she dumped her college boyfriend for and thinks she's going to marry but knows, deep inside, the fact that they've been engaged for two years now and still haven't set a date is not a good sign.

Luckily, MTV is a TV channel instead, because being a 25-year-old person sucks.

But Feeling old now.