||[Jun. 11th, 2006|06:20 pm]
International Bon Vivant and Raconteur
As if you needed further incentive to come to the Stokers after I told you about the best goody bags in history, a raffle to win all the nominated books, some of the best programming and readings you're likely to see this year, and the open bar cocktail party, there's even more news. They offered me, and I have accepted, the role of this year's Vanna. That means I'll be on stage during the whole ceremony, and not only will you get to see me looking dapper and fabulous, but you'll also get to witness the almost sylph-like grace with which I hand the trophies to the winners. Or at the very least you'll get to see me trip and fall on the table holding all the trophies, breaking each and every one of them in a heinous cacophony of humiliation. Either way, it's a guaranteed good time, so sign up if you haven't already. Tickets are going fast (though they will be available at the door too, for you last-minute types).
In other news, a woman in the special needs home across the street from me has been screaming all day. I'm not exaggerating. I can't believe her throat has lasted this long. At least it's better than the time one of the residents (or possibly this same one) discovered the intercom button and shouted into it for half an hour.