May 7th, 2006


Best Title Ever

One of the great things about sleaze cinema is the titles they use. When you see a video box (or, back in the day, a marquee in Times Square) announcing Satan's Black Wedding or The Devil's Bloody Playthings or Women's Prison Massacre, you know what you're in for. And that's the genius of the whole subgenre: it's all right there for you in the title. You don't even need to read the back of the box. Lust For Frankenstein? I've never seen it, but I bet I could give you a very close approximation of the plot just from the title. Nail Gun Massacre? Bare Behind Bars? Same thing. (In fact, the stories you make up in your head to fit these titles are often better than the actual films.)

And now, Retro-Shock-O-Rama (a division of has released a movie with what may be the greatest sleaze title ever conceived on Planet Earth. It doesn't involve the usual buzzwords blood, Satan, prison, S.S. or lust, but it's so brilliantly evocative I have to tip my hat to whoever decided to use this title instead of a direct translation of the original Italian. Check out the second title on this double-feature DVD:

It's just...I don't even know where to start with how brilliant it is. The original Italian title roughly translates as "The Third Reich's Last Orgy", which is pretty sleazetastic in its own right, but Caligula Reincarnated As Hitler is just a thousand times better. Someone at Retro-Shock-O-Rama deserves a raise.

I Guess It's Better Than Being Harry

Which Doctor Who assistant are you?

You are SARAH-JANE SMITH. Always poking your nose in where it doesn't belong. Presumably you have to run off and start a neighbourhood watch campagne somewhere.
Take this quiz!

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Yay! Sarah Jane Smith was the first companion I ever saw on the show, and I developed an instacrush on her.

But this quiz says I am Sarah Jane, so if you'll excuse me, I'm off to stare at my naked self in the mirror for the rest of my life.