Bush/Thompson/Lieberman at the Republican National Convention
Bush, Thompson and Lieberman - it sounds like a law firm, doesn't it? Anyway, having watched all three speeches tonight without compulsively scratching the skin off my bones, I've come to the conclusion that I'm probably a lifelong Democrat, or at least an Independent, should New York allow Independents to vote in primaries someday. A lot of Republican rhetoric just rubs me the wrong way. A lot of it sounds militaristic to me.

In tonight's triumvirate of speechifying, Daddy Warbucks President Bush went first, appearing via satellite in what looked to me like a pre-recorded speech (not that it matters, but I thought it would be live, and for all I know it was). That speech went pretty much how you think it would: 9/11, McCain war hero, 9/11, McCain POW, the surge is working, 9/11, abortion is bad, McCain will be a strong daddy I mean president. It seemed to go over well with the delegates, who I think were all drunk. His speech lasted ten minutes, and then he had to go back to the serious business of hiding in a house you and I pay the mortgage on.

Next up was D.A. Arthur Branch Fred Thompson, and color me surprised because his speech was actually the best one of the night. Not that it was firecrackers, but he held my attention, which he's never done before. He spent several minutes detailing the horrors John McCain went through as a POW in North Vietnam, and it was extremely effective. And moving. It served as a reminder that McCain isn't a hero because he got shot down and captured, but because of what he endured afterward for five and a half years. Then Thompson lost me by launching into some rhetoric about how McCain and Palin are so great because they're "rebels" and "reformers" and aren't afraid to "take on the establishment" -- which is funny because there's no one in the universe anymore who doesn't view the Republicans as the party of the establishment. But he was the best speaker of the night, in my opinion, and that's saying something about how low energy the night felt.

Speaking of low energy, the third and final speaker was Droopy Dog Joe Lieberman. The delegates seemed restless at first, not sure how to feel about this man who was the vice presidential nominee of the other party eight years ago, where he was one half of a ticket most of these very same delegates called "Sore Loserman." Lieberman's speech did what it was supposed to do, which is give Democrats and Independents who think they might like McCain better than Obama permission to vote for him in November. If Thompson's speech was the most rousing, Lieberman's was the most strategic. Too bad he has no charisma.

Tomorrow night, Gov. Sarah Palin accepts her nomination for vice president! I can't wait to hear the words "hockey mom," "Hillary Clinton" and "glass ceiling" again!

(Okay, so obviously I'm being a little partisan here, but really, I tend not to like the Republicans. Remember, they're the party who wanted to tell committed, adult couples what they could and could not in their own bedrooms.)