I'm left with the phrase "Klaatue barada nikto, woah" playing in my head.
I won't be able to get that out of my head for the rest of the day...Anybody got any bleech? Acid? Anybody? Bueller?
Bruce Campbell should maime Keanu (though Keanu and Klattu sound eerily similar) and take the gig.
There's an easy way of avoiding this, and it's one that's allowed me to be spared the horrors of whatever piece of shit might be stinking up both my local Googolplex and the latest issues of Starlog and SCI FI. Simply put, I don't watch. Not to sound overly flippant, but ever notice how most bad remakes of classic films promptly fade into obscurity (the line-for-line remake of Psycho is at the top of the list, but a few seconds will bring up any number of similar examples) once people stop kvetching about them?
And I say this knowing perfectly well that when the bad remake flops, the MBAs try to blame everything but their own culpability in the fiasco. I remember all too well when the market for spam-in-a-cabin slasher films fell through in the mid-Eighties, and since the latest Friday the 13th ripoff didn't pull in $30 million on its first weekend, suddenly everyone in Hollywood was saying "There's no market for horror". (The same thing happened in the late Nineties, when the same thing happened to all of those terrible Scream knockoffs that allowed the cast of Dawson's Creek to pretend that they were movie stars.) It's when the MBAs have decided "Well, since nobody bothered to see that adaptation of Ringworld starring Pauly Shore, nobody wants to see science fiction films" that it's possible to sneak something in with some heart and some soul, because it's being sold on the basis of the story and not just because it's a skiffy film.
Wait.. Pauley Shore was in Ringworld?
I don't watch them either. I didn't see the recent remakes of When a Stranger Calls, Black Christmas, The Omen, Halloween, or the latest Invasion of the Body Snatchers thingy. Turns out I didn't miss anything, either. It would take some damn stellar reviews to make me watch the new Day the Earth Stood Still.
Good man. I'm now at the point where I don't even bother to try renting them "to see if they were any good," either. (Sorry if I sounded overly cranky, but my old high school cohorts were the sort to see the same shitty film ten times, paying full price every time, than to see ten different films just once. Spending one last summer with them during the summer of 1986 also confirmed "It's always better to move on to a movie that you know is worth watching than to take a chance on a film you know is a dog just so you can say you did it." This is why I still haven't bothered with Star Wars, Episode Three or either of the Fantastic Four films.)
I stayed away from the Fantastic Four movies also, partly because I knew they would suck, and partly because I always thought the Fantastic Four was a ridiculous superhero team to begin with.
I also happen to think Iron Man is a ridiculous superhero, but at least the upcoming film looks like it might be good. Or at least fun.
When the first movie came out, I saw it because I always see crap like that when I stay up late. It was a pretty bad movie, but at least they put The Punisher in normal clothes instead of that ridiculous spandex skull costume he wears in the comic book.
I've avoided them as well. Except Markus made me watch Rob Zombie's version of Halloween this weekend because he was curious. I want that hour and a half back, dammit!
Needless to say, my "I told you so" moment was beautiful. heh
"I didn't see the recent remakes of When a Stranger Calls, Black Christmas, The Omen, Halloween, or the latest Invasion of the Body Snatchers thingy. Turns out I didn't miss anything, either."
We watched a bit of The Omen when it was on cable; there was nothing much wrong with it except that it had nothing whatsoever to add -- like Psycho, it was an utterly unnecessary remake. I'll probably watch the new Body Snatchers when it comes on cable, simply to complete my Body Snatchers set, as it were. The original Black Christmas is one of my favourite horror movies; no way would I have watched a remake.
But the When a Stranger Calls remake was actually pretty damn' fine, probably largely because of Camilla Belle's performance in the central role; I'd never really thought about her much as an actress before, just shuddered at the name, but this movie convinced me she has the chops to take on more significant parts. Plus all the shocks and shivers came in the right places and were well executed. It's not a movie worth investing much hard-earned cash in, but if you trip over it on cable you might be glad you chose to watch it.
It's not that I don't believe you about the When a Stranger Calls remake, but I think I might put that one in the "life is too short" pile. ;-)
"I think I might put that one in the "life is too short" pile"
As you please.
Day the Earth Stood Still and Forbidden Planet - two films that should NOT be remade in any way.
I smell a PLANET OF THE APES sized disaster in the works... even before I heard Keannu Reeves was involved.
"Klaatu, Barada... Whoa"
I bet the trailer involves spaceships blowing a lot of shit up. That'll get 'em in the seats!
You just know Klaatu's spaceship will like like a gigantic H.R. Giger turd, the Gort a Transformer.
Not the good part, I hope!
ROFL I could do an alignment check to make sure, I suppose. ;)
I love the original, and without even knowing the cast I'd be opposed to a remake. I'm generally opposed to remakes.
But to put Keanu Reeves in as Klaatu? No. There must be some kind of mistake. I will NOT accept this!
*runs out of the room sobbing like a hysterical teenager*
Maybe they can pass off his general lack of emoting as alien.
Eh, I suppose. But it still makes me ill to even think about.
Reeve's is one of those actors that no matter what he's in, I get an urge to just punch him in the face.
Angelina Jolie does that to me too. heh
Can I have Angelina before you make her face all bruised and swollen?
Be my guest. But be sure to double bag! ;-)
I love the original DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL and wish they weren't remaking it. I can't stand Keanu Reeves. But his casting in this is actually old news, and I think he's a good choice.
Sorry I was too slow to scoop your other news sources, Dr. Judgmento!
"A Nation Mourns"
Actually, I think this is a case of Hollywood choking on someone else's vomit. Because Hollywood is pervy-gross like that!
hollywood sucks... they have GOT to stop with the remakes! and then to sully it with reeves?! ok, i admit, long long loooooooooooong ago, i thought he was mildly attractive--and then he opened his mouth off the set of Bill and Ted and i realized that wasn't acting! ugh... i hate hollywood...
and um, yeah, nikto... not necktie... that's right =)